“Relationship Building 101” / “The Burning Questions Surrounding the 2014 Football Season”

By: “The Other Coach K,” David Kelly,
High School, College and Professional Football Coach

I know that the calendar year begins in January, but the “Real Year” begins in August when “Toe meets Leather”. Yes, it’s “Football Time” again, and this season comes with as much anticipation as any that I have experienced over the past 10 years. With that said, I wanted to use this blog to pose some of the “Burning” questions that surround the anticipation of the season, and challenge each of you to compete with your “Fantasy Friends” to see who answers the most correctly. (You must have your answers posted prior to kickoff of the opening game of the college football season at 7:00 pm on Wednesday, August 27th.)

Untitled Alright guys, before we get too carried away with the football craze, I also wanted to share some thoughts about “Relationship Building” in this blog. It is an area that serves as the core of our everyday existence. Hopefully this information will stimulate some brainstorming on how we all can improve in this most important area.

Here we go, “Enjoy”!“RELATIONSHIP BUILDING 101”

In the building of any relationship, a key variable that we must bring is wisdom. Wisdom is pure, peace-loving, considerate, impartial, and sincere.

Two of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships are when we react to what people say and not how they feel — or when we invalidate someone else’s feelings because we don’t feel that way ourselves.

Do you know what the antidote is for both of these is? Simply being considerate.

Mistake #1: We react without trying to understand

We pay too much attention to someone’s words and not enough attention to the emotions behind the words. People say stuff when they’re angry that they don’t even mean. They use words they don’t even intend to use. They exaggerate things. But you need to look behind the words at the emotion because people don’t always say what they mean, but they always feel what they feel.

So if you’re wise in a relationship, you stop focusing on what your kids or your boyfriend or your husband or your wife or your boss or your teammate or your coach says that just ticks you off, and you start being considerate. That simply means you are mindful of the feelings of others. Unkind people are those who need your kindness the most. When people are rude and unkind, they are screaming to the world, “I’m in pain!”
“Hurt People” always hurt people.Mistake #2: We invalidate any feelings that we don’t feel ourselves

This is when you believe something is dumb or irrational or illogical because it’s not what you feel, and you dismiss it. Let me ask you this, can one person be cold and another be warm at the same time? Yes. So why try to argue people out of what they feel?

When we invalidate someone else’s feelings because we don’t feel it, we minimize the other person. Athletes, if your teammate says to you, “I’m horrible!”, don’t dismiss it and say, “You’re not horrible!”. That doesn’t help at all. What you need to do is say, “Why would you feel that? What would make you say that?” because you need to look beyond the words and get to the real issue.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They’re just there. Your family members/friends/associates/teammates or coaches shouldn’t have to defend their feelings. They just need you to say, “I hear you.”

With wisdom, you’ll stop minimizing other people’s feelings. You will let them feel tired when they are tired and not try to talk them out of it. You will let them feel depressed when they are depressed and not try to talk them out of it. Wise people are considerate of other people’s feelings.
“How someone else treats you should not influence how you treat them.
Love overlooks the wrongs that other’s do.”
Consider these:
* What effect do you see in people when you show kindness to them when they are hurting?
* What habits do you need to change or adopt to become more considerate of people’s feelings and not just their words?

Untitled1. Will Jameis continue to be famous?

2. Who is your 2014 Heisman Trophy winner?

3. Will the Dallas Cowboys finally make the playoffs again?

4. Will Will revive the Gators?

5. Who is your “Final Four” (college football post-season playoffs)?

6. Who will be the most successful NFL team in the State of Florida?
– The Bucs with Lovie?
– The Jags with Blake and Storm?
– The Dolphins?

7. Which rookie NFL quarterback will shine the brightest this season?

8. Will Seattle’s “Legion of Boom” be this year’s “Legion of Doom”?

coaches9. Gus versus Nick – II (who you got)?

10. Who represents the “Beast of the East” in the SEC Championship game? (Does it really matter?)

11. Which conference will be the strongest in college football (“from top to bottom”)?

12. Where will the best high school football be played in the State of Florida this season (“the 305”? “the 407”? “the 813”? “the 786”? “the 850”? “the 904”? “the 561”? etc.)?

13. Will the new ruling by the NCAA giving the “Power 5 Conferences” (SEC, ACC, Big 12, Big 10, PAC 12) a certain amount of autonomy be good or bad for college football? For college athletics?

14. Who will win the 2014 Division I College Football season
opener on Wednesday, August 27th between the Abilene
Christian Wildcats and the Georgia State Panthers?

johnny15. Okay, I must admit, I’m caught up in the hype too …..
Will Johnny Football be Johnny Football?“TIE BREAKER” QUESTION
Who will win the heated “I-4 Rivalry” between USF and UCF?
(in Women’s Volleyball) ☺

*Reader’s Challenge*

Discuss each of the questions with your “Football Family”, and compete to see who has answered the most correctly when the season ends. *You can post your answers on this blog by “Leaving a Comment”.*

Hopefully this blog provided you valuable insight regarding “Relationship Building”, and whetted your appetite even more for some “FOOTBALL”! I’m off to see a college football practice and a NFL football practice, as teams wind down their preparations for their opening games of the season. In closing, always remember, “YOU are the designer of YOUR destiny”.*Interesting Fact*

The month of August 2014 is very special. It consists of five-Fridays, five-Saturdays, and five-Sundays. This “once in a lifetime” phenomenon only occurs every 823 years.
So what does all of this mean?

Until the next time,
“The Other Coach K”

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